"Whatever has happened once, will not happen again..but what has happened twice is bound to happen for the third time..." - Paulo Coelho from "The Alchemist"


Never in my wildest imagination i had thought one day i would be writing or rather explaining my single status...
but as it is with life sometimes,somethings crop up and even the most hard line stances are needed to be softend.

Usually,i wouldn't have cared to give this topic much of my thinking time if not in a span of three days, my three different friends wouldn't have wondered aloud on me being still single.
The reason for their amazement is that they consider me to be quite a nice guy,with a good sense of humour,a great personality and being someone for whom many more other attractive nouns can be used,simply put a guy every girl would be happy to be with.

I wholeheartedly agreed with everything they said (who wouldn't???) but just couldn't answer the "WHY ????"

I guess that there can be numerous reasons and explanations for this-abstract,practical,simple,complex...
but i just couldn't think of any at that time.
and still can't because i've never mused much on me not having that 'special someone'.

but now i guess i must rake my brains and maybe try to solve this dilemma of theirs(i still think i'm wasting both yours and my time but maybe after this i'll have something to say if someone else wondered aloud in the future)

Yeah i'm single ! ! and have maintained the 'status quo' almost my whole life.
I do have many friends from the opposite sex and they do outnumber my male-friends by a ratio of two is to one, but that special one is not there.

I would be lieing if i said i wouldn't like to find her but its just that i'm not looking passionately enough for her,its more like a passing search.

There are two reasons for that- first and formost, i don't get the time.
In juggling my family and friends,my hobbies and studies,my social life and my obligations, i don't get any time so that i can look for her.
And the girls i do like (and so find by pure chance and luck...) become friends,but that is another story(and the main idea behind one of my theory of "Friendly Practical Love"...watch this space and you'll soon find it published here.)

Second,and this i feel is the most important,i haven't got the faintest idea what i'm looking for???
There is no 'dream woman' who dwells in my imagination(barring Jessica Alba).
For me, there is no such thing called a soulmate or love.
There is no one called a perfect person.
I'm not perfect and so if i myself would become shallow and strive for perfection i would be an hypocrite !!
I believe that the only thing there is,is compatibility. A relationship moves upon sacrifice(???),understanding,and commitment.
Both the partners really needs to work hard to make it successful.

And there is another problem(this some of my friends have told me at various junctions of my life)
I'm told that inspite of me being so nice i don't send the right kind of signals.
I don't seem to be a sentimental person(huh??),someone who takes any thing seriously.
I seem like a guy who won't stick to one girl and someone who just won't be able to handle a relationship.

I can blame my extrovert nature and my happy-go-lucky attitude towards life for this but quite frankly i don't(maybe i should blame my outgoing nature due to which i had minimum of three new crushes each day and me telling everyone that "ya !! i like her").
I don't because that was what i had intended to do all along.
I chose to be this because i wanted it to be like that.
I show maturity when one of my friend is in trouble or when i'm lending a helping hand or when the time comes, but most of the time i'm cracking jokes and always trying to bring a smile or a chuckle on the others persons face(and i do feel i usually succeed).so most of the time my serious side remains tucked in for my personal use only and not to show to others.
If to get a girlfriend means sacrificing all this,sacrificing what i'm then iguess i'm lucky i don't have that.
if i'm supposed to find someone, she should be ready to take me as i'm,as i'm ready to take her with all her virtues and vices.

As for the "seriousness" part, i don't believe that i should (or can) become serious for the innumerable number of crushes i have.
I'll get serious one day, but that would be the day when i would really be in a relationship, when the girl would be serious for me.

On an ending note i would just like to present a piece of conversation i had with one of my closest and greatest pals,sometimes back.i present this because i feel like it sums up my thoughts pretty nicely and accurately...
"The problem with all of the guys in our group is",he said," is simply that,that they have carved a prestige issue out of it and it is not just the guys in our group,the same thing holds true for 95% of guys we know"
"They think that now we are in college,but still we don't have a girlfriend...our life sucks"
"While you and me are from the small saner lot...we are noe adversed by the idea of not having a girlfriend but frankally we take it in our stride. We are easy living our life...we try to woo but if we don't succeed even then its all right...we'll take it with a pinch of salt and move on towards newer pastures...if we get a girlfriend fine and if don't....well ok we'll be still living and rocking"
Amen to that...
I don't know about you...
but now i think..

and i guess that is what matters the most....

don't you????

What Bullshit !!!!!

This was completely unplanned(n actually unexpected)...call it as a decision out of the blue...and a dumb decision u may add(atleast i do)
I never did expect that the judiciary of "Out Great Nation" could get so low minded (after all u need to have good qualifications to become a Hon'ble Judge) but i guess our lawmakers are hell bent to prove my beliefs wrong.

Before u start thinking that this is all about The Supreme Courts verdict to issue a stay on the Quota issue,this has nothing to do with it(and since we are at it let me make it clear, i support the Courts decision).

What actually has touched a nerve of mine is The Delhi High Courts decision to quash a rape charge against an accused after he proposed to marry the victim and the real shocker was that the victim AGREED !!!!

In a country where a woman is raped every 29 minutes,in whose capital the same statistics holds true for 24 hours, this new directive will do nothing but give the accused a big loophole(loophole looks like a main road to me...) to get out of the way of punishment.

but now the real question arises who is to blame???

The Victim???
Ok, she agreed to the marriage but come on how can we blame her??? We live in such a Modern Country where the final solution to each n every problem is marriage.
In a society which pokes fun at the victim and her family,talks in whispers behind them and in front of them.Where the girl and her family is ridiculed and are made butt of their sick sense of humour.Where they are subjected to an immense mental torture which is unimaginable.
So the only option left for the girl and her family is to save as much face as they can.
Even the victim is overtaken by shame,guilt and the anxiety about 'who will marry me'.

The Court and the Law Enforcers???(with a conviction rate of 4-12% they can be easily made the scrapgoat.)
NO again.
They are to blame but not entirely....
Because most of the times they are told to do their job with both hands tied behind there back.

The major fault lies with us...
With our Society
With our typical conservative mindset.
Where Marriage is the ultimate solution to all of life's problems.
In the western countries if a woman does undergo such a tragedy the society there supports her not like here where she can't even get out of her home with dignity.
What we should learn is not to forget the tragedy but we should let the girl live her life as normally as possible.
We should let her achieve her goals and let her live JUST THE WAY SHE WANTS...

What the Court should have done was to help build up this mindset instead of quashing cases.
They should taken into account the fact that such marriages are disastrous and are marked by violence.They should have realised that no person can live with someone who has caused so much psychological and physical damage.That the accused will in no way support her in any way.
And what is the gurantee that he will not rape her after marriage???

but just when i think all hope is lost there does come a ray of light in the form of the resilience shown by the victim and her family,the whole hearted support of all the people from all walks of life and the judgement that followed in the Priyadarshani Matoo Rape case or Shanti Mukund Hospital Rape case.

There is still some hope left for us....

Yours Truly.

My photo
Like a true gemini i've got a multifaceted personality. can't write about each of them so one will have to discover through the layers